Now, what has this to do with Frazzles you say? Well, frazzles appear to be the only thing I can stomach first thing in the morning. Why? I think it's down to salt content. I can manage a bacon sarn about half an hour after getting up, sausage, maybe 45 minutes, toast an hour, cereal 90 minutes. It seems to me that the salt content is inversely proportional to the time in which I can consume said product. This can be displayed thus:
T=Ô/S
Where: T = Time after awakening (minutes); Ô = The nut scratch constant; S = Salt content (grams)
The nut scratch constant varies from person to person and applies only to males. The constant for women is still to be discovered. Ô can be described as the amount of minutes, per gram of salt in a man's sweat, that he spends scratching his nuts and arse after getting up. Extensive research has been done on this and it has been empirically proven to be a constant. However, this is out of the scope of this article.
Therefore, I conclude that sweet breakfast items are less sufficient as a breakfast item than savoury products.
1 comment:
I'd like to join in this rigorous scientific analysis, but I had a white chocolate and raspberry muffin :(
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