Luncheon 11/02/08

Well, first of all, I am very sorry, I've been very busy at work so I haven't been able to keep this as up-to-date as I would have liked. Very naughty I know... Well, to be honest, I haven't really eaten much that's been special. I've made a few salads, done some wonderful things with cous-cous had some Morrisson's salads, you know the score. Here's a gallery of a few of the things I've been eating since last time:


Some very nasty Tuna salad from Benjy's


Something random and slimy from Boots


A marvellous sarnie I made


Liquid luncheon


Porky baps from the canteen


Today I could only be arsed to go to Boots so I had the meal deal which has now gone up to £3.20 I might add! Still cheap though, and I had a 'Tomato and Basil Chicken Pasta Salad', which came with a box of carrots and dip and an Orange and Passionfruit smoothie. The salad wasn't bad, slimy and mayonnaisey as usual but that's par for the course. The chicken was a little dry but the dressing was nice. I even got three whole leaves of spinach as a sort of token effort at justifying the name 'salad'. We all know my feelings on the misuse of that word! Wasn't bad though in terms of flavour though, I'll give them that. Here it is in all it's glory:



At the weekend I perfected my 'Special Sauce for Putting on Pan-Fried Seabass mmm it's Dead Nice'. That's it's official name by the way. You make it thus:


Ingredients:

~6 spring onions or one and a half shallots, finely chopped
4 tbl spoons of sherry vinegar
2 egg yolks
200g clarified butter
7 big fresh basil leaves, shredded
1 red chilli, deseeded and finely chopped
3 tbl spoons of water
salt and pepper to season

Chuck the spring onions and vinegar in a hot pan and quickly reduce. When the liquid is down to about a third, pour out and reserve. clean the pan and refill with some cold water and put on the hob until boiling. On top of the pan place a glass or metal bowl. Chuck in the egg yolks, water and seasoning and heat while whisking until the mixture has gone pale and fluffy then slowly pour in the clarified butter whisking all of the time. This is the difficult part cos you end up with butter everywhere and all down your arm. The mixture should start to emulsify like a hollandaise and thicken. Lob in the chilli, basil and vinegar and onion reduction, and whisk for a little bit, then take off the heat and keep it warm over the water until ready to serve. Don't let it go cold before serving or it'll go proper nasty and congealed, a bit like marzipan but horrible.

Pan fry your seabass (also works well with red snapper, mackerel, and trout) and spread some of this tasty stuff over the top, not loads cos it can be quite tart. Server with rocket and cherry tomatoes and a spoon of mushroom risotto or cous-cous. Absolutely bloody splendid! Very pleased with myself over this one. I also have a tasty recipe for a roasted red pepper sauce that goes amazingly with plaice or skate. I'll give you that another time though...


In closing, I thought you might like this poster I found in a pub in Cannock yesterday, made me chuckle!



Oh yes and...

project:Adonis weight: 14st 1lb

Luncheon 04/01/08

Today, as it was pay day, we took a little trip to the most local pub to my office, The Wharf. Therein I ate the a la carte Bangers and Mash:



It wasn't bad. The slaninis were pretty tasty, full of herbs and in the Lincolnshire style. The gravy was good, rich and possibly a touch of red wine... The mash tasted pretty good but is was blatantly reheated. Slightly annoying as the edge bits had gone a little rubbery. The peas were nasty, half of them were raw and half of them were overcooked. They all looked anaemic. A reasonable effort, I'll forgive the mash as its hard to cook to order when the clientèle is as spurious as it is at that end of town. However, peas? Frozen peas take about 35 seconds to cook in boiling water, using precooked peas and mixing with uncooked peas is a pretty poor show. £4.75? A little overpriced I feel, £3.50 would have been reasonable. Oh and can't forget the unreasonably priced flat lager!

How was Christmas?

Mine was pretty crap. I was ill for the whole time... In fact I was so ill, I didn't eat for three days! I was actually very fearful that I may never want to eat again... I had a little weep because I couldn't eat. However, I did use my time productively, as I was too zoned out to do any shopping for Christmas and in fact far too skint to buy anything, I decided to try my hand at tasty home-made treats. I spent three days experimenting, ruining and finally perfecting Red Onion Chutney and Fudge!

Now first of all, the Red Onion chutney is fine, and I mean fine! So tasty, I started with a random recipe I found on the internet and played about a bit. I', not going to divulge my exact recipe as it is so tasty, I might think about jarring it up and selling it. In essence it contains many an onion some fine merlot, some unrefined castor sugar, a wee bit of sherry vinegar and some special stuff. Takes bleeding ages to cook but it's worth it. mmmmmm

The fudge is a nightmare, how anyone invented fudge is beyond me. There's such a fine line between what's essentially butterscotch sauce and sweet sand that you can't take your mind of the job for a moment. It takes ages and you have to stir it all the time! I've tried a few recipes now and the ones with condensed milk are second rate. Use one with the fattiest milk you can find and you get fudge so sweet and tasty you can only have a little bit before you don't want to eat fudge again. Thus making it healthy! I shall let you in on the fudge recipe cos its easy:

100g Butter
350ml Milk
300g Caster sugar (I prefer the unrefined golden stuff)
1 tsp Vanilla essence
[Optional, four squares of dark chocolate and 50ml of scotch]

Plonk the butter, milk and sugar in a heavy pan and heat up, stirring all the time. After about two or three minutes it will start to boil. Turn the heat down and keep it boiling, stirring all the time. Keep this going for about 35 minutes. Don't worry, it will look disgusting for the vast majority of the time, like the milk has separated. Ignore it and press on. You may want to get yourself a glass of wine and put the TV on. Maybe even grab a chair. Don't stop stirring for a second or it'll burn and become nasty. If you do have to leave for a wee or whatever, take it off the heat. At no point think about sticking your finger in for a taste, this stuff is hotter than the sun!

After about 35 minutes, it will become a little thicker. This is where it starts to get annoying. Annoying because the time it takes to do this next bit can vary from ten minutes to an hour in my experience, with no bearing on any physical factor. It must be voodoo... At this point, chuck in the vanilla and chocolate and booze if you want to. Careful with the booze, when you chuck it in, the alcohol will evaporate almost immediately and the pan will bubble like a deep fat fryer. Keep your face out of the way! Get yourself a bowl of chilled water on hand. Every five minutes or so, you need to test the mixture. You're looking for a stage that pastry chefs call the 'soft-ball stage'. Now, its no massive secret what this means, it simply means, drop half a teaspoon in some cold water. Leave it for a few seconds to cool to room temperature, take it out and it should be able to rolled into a soft ball. If it isn't ready yet, it'll basically dissolve leaving you with a minging, murky mess (check out my alliteration!). If you go too far, it'll be like toffee. The turning point is very narrow as well so you have to keep on your guard.

Once you have your soft ball, take it off the heat immediately. Run a sink of cold water a couple of inches deep. Take you pan and wooden spoon and plunge the pan into the water, taking care to get none in the pan. Now frantically beat it with the spoon until it starts to make your arms ache but its cool enough to handle without burning yourself. Then you need to spoon it out onto a greased baking tray and pat it into a rectangle so its about half an inch thick all over. It should still be quite warm to the touch and the consistency of warm plasticine. Cover it with a towel or some kitchen roll, not cling film and leave to cool on the work surface. Don't put it in the fridge.

If you for any reason go too far, you'll know pretty quick. Your biceps will burst and you spoon will snap and you'll end up with something resembling builders sand. Tasty sand, but still very gritty. No loss though, I've found its very tasty sprinkled on ice cream!

I think Christmas would be much better if everyone gave up on all of this buying crap for crap's sake, like remote controlled UFOs and novelty pint glasses; and actually put some effort in. How cool would it be if, for Christmas you got a load of hand made food from all of your mates? Delectable desserts, savoury sauces, tasty treats, piquant pickles, marvellous, mouthwatering masterpieces? It would be awesome!

Enjoy your fudge!